Things I'll Never Say

Hands off. She's mine. Find someone else to stalk.


"I'd like the Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fucking Fruity breakfast, please." (I tried to do an image search for this, and of course.....a Myspace profile pic came up. The internet is fucking with me again. Screw you cyberspace. Information superhighway, my ass.)

"No, it'd be rude and sexist of me to stare at you in those tight jeans."

"No way is Ty Pennington annoying or obnoxious."

"I admire: Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, Jason Giambia and Barry Bonds for all they've done for baseball."

"Get lost, Jessica." (Yeah.....another excuse....just wanted to show Jessica some love.)

"Boy, those American Idol judges make the show worth watching!"

(originally posted on 9/29/2006)

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